Call Me ‘Scotty’

First and foremost let me say:

1-I don’t have The Rona
2-I went back into the office today
3-I really miss working from home already
4-The title of the post is a ‘classic’ “Star Trek” reference and you either get it or you don’t.

As to 3 there, I put in way more than my slated 4 hours a day as I worked from home but I didn’t mind. I do mind staying in the office more than 4 hours. Besides, I’m so freakin’ productive at home it’s not even funny. I just roll right into a groove and keep on groovin’ past hour 4 without even noticing.

In the light: I took care of everything I could possibly take care while working from home including getting the FB page on its feet, getting all of the videos I could uploaded to the new YouTube page, polishing up the page, and trying to get going on Twitter. Yes, I made graphics and all those good things. I handled the email, scheduled Zoom Meetings, and worked on the Bulletin. I did a little bit with the Gargoyle Newsletter but didn’t get too far with its overhaul. Yet. I’m working on it. I also came up with a good form for online voting for the Church Members. With COVID they can’t vote in person so this is new and online. I came up with two letters, one for those getting the information via email, and one for those who claim not to have any computer access at all. They’re still getting paper ballots, which I also designed…from home. I also overhauled the slate of nominees. Not the nominees themselves just the format. That thing was a mess! You remember a few weeks ago we talked about Tables and how they can be useful–and not useful? Someone didn’t table this they just Tabbed the whole thing like they were using a Royal Electric (that’s a typewriter). I fixed it.

I get back in the office today and everyone is so happy to see me!

I was happy to see them too!

It was nice, I got nothing but High Praise. That’s wonderful, I truly do appreciate it.

The phrase I heard most often today was; “I know you’re very busy….but…..”.

Yes, I am very busy. It is Voting and Fundraising Season. I don’t whose idea it was to join those two things but…eh. Not really a fan. But…whatever.

Every Church Member and Friend is getting Pledge Cards.

Every Church Member had to be given a way to vote (as described above).

I haven’t been at the job long enough to dig deep into the files. I really don’t know how up to day any of these mailing lists are be they email or hard copy. I do that the ones that seemed the most recent didn’t open. They were looking for some SQL database that they couldn’t find. I have no idea why they were doing that. I just know they didn’t open.

I gave it my best shot!

I printed out the largest and most recent mailing list that appeared to Members Only. I printed out what appeared to be the most recent mailing for Friends. Since I really have no idea who has email and who doesn’t; I just used the Bulletin mailing list. I figure that’s why they get hard copies they don’t have Internet.

Oh, wait! First….it’s Thursday….it’s recording day. So I had to get those documents printed out. Get them up into the church. I did that. Wait. I forgot a set. Did it again. Then I went to start my print job. That’s right.

Yeah, but before I could print any of those I noticed the office was out of 5160 mailing labels. They have a lot of Thank You cards that are in packing making them look like mailing labels. They have a lot of really big labels. I don’t know why. I’m guessing someone ordered wrong and just kept them. Maybe. I dunno.

I noticed were low on #10 envelopes too. We had some, maybe enough, but after that we’d have nothing. Yes, like their mailing list files, I really haven’t had a lot of time to take inventory either. In my own defense, I thought those packs of really big mailing labels were 5160s. Since I was printing out about 270 mailable documents today I needed some supplies.

I’m in Groton. I never go to Groton. I have no idea what office supply stores may be in that town. I did know how to get to WalMart. So, I wrote a little note, tacked it on my office window, grabbed the office credit card and off I went.

To WalMart.

Ick. I hate that place!

I got there only to discover their entire section of mailing items was damn near empty. There certainly wasn’t a single mailing label to be had. Not. One. Envelopes? Yeah. No. Not really

I have no idea where to go. Except back to the office where I explain my plight to the Reverend. I had no other choice but to go back to New London where Staples is located. Yes, we have a Staples account. Yes, I could have ordered them online and maybe they would have shown up some time tomorrow. My luck? They would have shown up on Saturday and no one would be there to get them. So I went to the store.

Their mailing section is also looking ragged. Everyone is working from home and they need supplies. I completely get it. I was able to find some 5260 labels that would work with some tweaking and a whole 2 boxes of #10 envelopes. I was very frustrated and disheartened. I got to the checkout line, hit a dead end, had to turn around and go back the other way and on my way…..there was a display of 5160s in the large packs! YES! Finally…score! Tossed those 5260s right quick I did. I checked out and headed back.

Printed out all of the documents! That printer is awesome and, as you’ll see in a moment, it’s a royal PITA too. I got the letters and the mailing labels done for both projects. I got the voting snail mail packed up and out the door it went. Another score!

The Pledge people they seem to love color and I don’t blame them. They wanted me to print our return address w/ logo in color on like 200 envelopes. Word didn’t want to let me do that without having some Microsoft account which probably exists but I have no idea what it is. The lady was kind enough to send me a Publisher version and it looked very nice. Every single time I tried to print it the printer just sat there. No matter how I checked its settings, its options, and its trays, it just sat there. Blinking. Wanting me to fill the external tray…which, of course, I did…but…..nope. So I couldn’t get those done and I didn’t have time to waste on it because…..

So, someone died. Reverend is doing a memorial service. I mistakenly thought it was a Church Member who passed and…for several days….I was putting the information she was sending me into the Church Bulletin. In my own defense, when she started sending this stuff to me, she said she wanted a Bulletin. My head jumped straight to the weekly one. If she’d said she wanted a Funeral Booklet I would not have spent several days driving myself nuts. But that’s neither here nor there, it got straightened out…sorta.

I don’t like it when people who really don’t know what they’re doing futz with formatting…on anything. It took me forever to get this stupid one page ‘booklet’ into the format she wanted. She sent it to me landscape so I figured that was what she wanted, that’s how I printed it the first time…thankfully I only printed one test copy. No she wanted portrait. That changed everything. After quite a bit of fuzing I got it to go. I printed it….I’ve never seen this before in my life…the printer actually pooped out this little booklet. I never saw an exit tray on the floor at the rear of the printer so ‘pooped’ is the most accurate description I can possibly come up with!

She wanted sixty of them. It pooped out about six of them when….it jammed!

That was right around 1 o’clock and I’m in the office and it’s 1 o’clock so now I’m not just frustrated and, yes, oh hell yes, muttering ‘fuck’ under my breath repeatedly in the Church! Bad girl! It’s time to leave. My head is started to sternly remind me of that fact which only makes matters worse. I’ll work 8 hours from home and only get paid for 4 and not bitch about it once. I will not do it in the office. Not happening. I know that’s a bit odd.

I stayed for a while. I did my best to follow the on screen directions and did pretty good removing the jam from the rear. Then the damn thing insisted there is a jam in the ‘saddle’ and no matter how I followed those directions nothing was happening. Reverend came in, I asked her to read them to me as I fiddled with it, that didn’t do any good either. She finally turned it off hoping it would be happy tomorrow! For all I know, it will be. There was nothing left to do. So we left together and she was very natured about the whole thing. She’s a very kind and pleasant woman. I like her a lot.

Tomorrow, I’ll see if the copier is happy or not. If it’s not I’ll try to unjam it. Maybe the former secretary knows the trick. If I can’t, it’s under contract, someone will have to come out and show me how to do it. If they can’t get there before 1 o’clock tomorrow…which is probably doubtful that they will…it will have to wait until Monday. That means hard copies of the Bulletin won’t go out and the poor dead guy won’t get his funeral booklets. It also means there’s no way colorful return addresses are getting printed on envelopes so it’s a good thing I printed out extra return labels! I guess the Pledge people are getting together this weekend to stuff the envelopes and send this stuff out.

Tonight, I have to start a Zoom meeting at 5 o’clock.

Oh yeah, and I have to put the video together tomorrow too. At least that will be relaxing. I do enjoy doing that very much.

It’s Thursday baby and My Boys are on tonight! Yep, I can certainly use a little Sam & Dean this evening.

Even ‘Scotty’ had his vices 🙂

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