The Old Lady & The Porn Scammer

Hi.

**THIS IS GOING TO BE AN ADULT CONTENT POST. THOSE WHO IDENTIFY AS ‘FAINT OF HEART’ OR ‘EASILY OFFENDED’ SHOULD PROBABLY LEAVE NOW. **

Ahh, there. Friggin’ Trigger Warnings. You know, Long Ago and Far Away there was no such thing. And ‘smoking’ certainly never would have been among them if there had. Anyway, we’re here today where there will be much ‘adult talk’, I imagine; swear words, put downs, and other very nasty things.

It’s no secret that I’ve dealt with, maybe more than my fair share, of scammers these past few months. They never stopped. I just stopped talking about them here. That’s all. Now I’m to join Book Clubs and GoodReads lists that are dead. I mean dead. So dead. It’s sad. How they’re just kind of falling into this disarray. For the most part I don’t answer them. Now and then I’ll kick them a ‘no thank you’. They go into their spiel. If it’s interesting I lead them but, more often than not, it’s just the same old scripted shit. Again, more often than not, I just kick them to my SCAMS folder at that point and walk away.

I have received some emails from people who look totally legit, people who want to make a ‘cinematic trailer’ or book cover or…whatever. They have links that look good. If I had money and hadn’t dealt with the above so long I might pursue something with them. I give them a polite ‘thanks but no thanks’.

That’s all well and good. I’m used to it.

Yesterday, I got an email from ‘Michele’.

My name is Michelle, Lisa, still remember me?

Even though everything in me screamed; SCAM!

I’ve known a lot of Michelles. I have. Some of them I even liked. One of those did grow up down the street from me. So….I was in a pickle. I typed back.

More info is needed.

I got back

Lisa, I live near you!
My name is Michelle, I am 31, and still very gorgeous 🙂
My pics are in my profile on this site: My Video chat
Sign up there, it is free!
Find me there, my nickname is Michelle_C!

Oh bother.

BUT, I was on my phone at the time so I couldn’t really see where the link went without clicking it. Old phone. I waited until I got back to the desktop.

DO NOT CLICK THAT FUCKING LINK!

Sitting on the couch with my hubby, the ‘news’, and our morning coffee, I just looked at it and laughed. I read it aloud to him and our Oldest. I was thinking of a good reply. The Oldest said something like; 31? I’m too old for that.

Hubby replied; I’m not!

We all laughed.

I thought; oh yeah, that’s it. So I typed back; Sorry, you’re too old.

Anyway, I had a smidgen of time before I had to run out this morning so, yep, I went to the desktop, back to the email and hovered over the link. I sat back with my cigs and coffee, shook my head and the only thing I could think is; why?

Not to encourage any scammers out there but, I dunno, try harder.

I’m a 59 year-old female, married 40 years, with 2 daughters, and 2 granddaughters. What makes you think I want to to see your skanky snatch? Ever. Under any circumstances whatsoever?

For fuck’s sake, if you’re going to do this, why not present yourself as a 40 year-old male in ‘good condition’ or something like that? You watch, we’ll back here in a bit because I’ve gotten just such an email. Let’s see how long it takes? Anyone out there wanna place bets? But, ya know, yeah, it’s important to know and then target your audience if you want this shit to have a prayer in hell.

Yes, I digress.

This idiot answers me!

I will be in my video chat today, join me in 30-40 minutes,
I’ll show you something…..:)
There is my private chat page: https://adultly.online/?Chat=Michelle_C
What’s your nickname there?

You know, I happen to have a lot of Pent Up Frustration in my Life right now, I mean like an entire cargo ship of it, and I have come to welcome these jewels other people would dismiss. Hey, if you’re going to make yourself a Target I am up for Practice.

So I typed back:

Nah. It’s probably like throwing a hot dog down a hallway. 

If you don’t get that…think on it. If you’re offended…that’s the damn point so good for you!

To those of you who had the balls to LAUGH at that….I love you so much! YOU are MY people!

To my utter amazement she answered….well she didn’t give me answer….but she replied, how’s that?

Lisa, again, contact me On this site: https://adultly.online/?Private_Message=Michelle_C
Do not send more emails,
if my husband reads it he will kill me!

Like I give a flying fuck about her ‘husband’.

AGAIN, DO NOT CLICK THAT FUCKING LINK!

Yeah, I couldn’t help it, the defiant 70s kid in my harkened back to that ancient Battle Cry; *V’hat-unse Fuck-unse?

I typed back:

Pray tell how big of a fat ugly slob is your partner?

Yeah no reply to that one. maybe I’m finally on block?

It has been quite a while since I got hit with some porn shit. So it was a nice change of pace from the book scammers, I could really get in there and ‘screw around’. No shame when it comes to them, not a single shred. The pressure release they provide is an added bonus. A nice one too. I must say. Yep, very nice little bonus.

The End.

You don’t have to go any further IF you go that last reference. IF you need to have it explained, you may be offended by the answer.

*Think ‘Hogan’s Heroes’….Google it if you have to then narrow your search to ‘Schultz’. Use a little imagination.*