Watch Your Back…List

Those damn scammers!

They never stop. Ever.

Thankfully I’m no longer utterly deluged with them on a daily basis and when they do come along generally I just kick it to my SCAMS folder. Most of them aren’t interesting enough to reply to. Funny thing there, if one does not reply the scammer tends to send a ‘follow up’ email just to see if you got the first one.

Yes, dipstick, I got it.

This week I had the displeasure of two scammers. One wanted to market “The Limkkin” and the other is pretending to be a ‘fellow author’ who just adored “Crazy Love”.

Oh, that’s nice.

The first one just went on and on saying a bunch of absolutely nothing in flowery words for “The Limkkin” and how it’s ‘being discussed on forums’ and ‘people truly connect to the story’.

Uh-huh.

That story was unpublished in 2018. It’s not a horrible story but it’s short and I always felt it wasn’t one of my best efforts although I do have a soft spot for it. Every author has a soft spot for every story they write, I would think.

I asked Scammer #1 how they came across the story since…it was unpublished in 2018 and therefore is not available for legal download anywhere.

They didn’t tell me where they found it but my guess is Goodreads, that site has become a breeding ground for scammers.

That’s where they’re all coming from. The must spend hours crusing Goodreads.

The problem is, even though Goodreads is owned and operated by Amazon, never updates its shit unless you can find the time…and the method… to direct them to do it. I can’t just update them myself unfortunately, I guess that would just be too easy. So instead of having something like 12 or 13 current titles for me….I have 7 pages of books listed over there. None of them have the right blurbs or book covers. Many are no longer available and a ton of them are just duplicates. I’d get rid of Goodreads altogether, just close my account if I didn’t already know some SOB would come along and ‘clone’ me. Don’t laugh, I know, I’m small and that has happened to me more times than I can count. It’s the sole reason I have an Instagram account, I had to get confront someone who was impersonating me.

Anyway, Goodreads has become quite useless to authors on many levels but it’s a banquet for scammers who aren’t smart enough to see if a book is actually still available for sale. Too dumb to click a link before sending an email trying to get your money.

Scammer #1 just kept going. Told me how great the story was.

Huh?

OK. Dumbass. I know you haven’t read it but let’s keep playing…until you lose.

After receiving my second email from Scammer #1 I asked what I always do; How does the story end?

I got back some more flowery BS that had nothing to do with the story but someone in need of ego strokes would fall for it. I sent my third email; No, I meant that literally. How does the story end?

Another flowery email that mentioned the characters names this time. It was obvious the only thing they’d read was the blurb. My last email was telling them they’re a liar and a scammer, move on to the next mark because they’re not getting anything out of me. If they try to send me another email it’s just going to go to the Spam Box.

I didn’t hear back.

Today, Scammer #2 popped up. That ‘fellow author’ who just ‘wants to help’. “Crazy Love” (which is the ‘boxset’ for The Doc series) has not been available since 2020. I just sent that one an email letting them know it has not been legally available for download for 6 years. Scammer #2, like Scammer #1, will be stupid enough to ignore that and try to get me to do something anyway.

In short, if you’ve got any stories that you archived, be on the look out for emails like this and don’t fret. Your books haven’t suddenly become available somewhere without your permission. These people are just trolling Goodreads.

Honestly, I would think that when I tell a scammer that something hasn’t been legally available for many years that they would just go away. Get smart. Wise up. Don’t make me become a wicked bitch. Just….depart.

The jig is up the news is out. Oh, yes, we’ve found you.

Try to be graceful in defeat.

Just…go away.

How hard is that?