Scammers & The Indie Author

It seems I spoke too soon in an earlier post when I said the scammers might have gone away.

Yeah, they came back.

So many ‘famous authors’ want to help me! I really should show them more gratitude.

‘Publishing houses’ have recently deluged me with email. They all want to see my newest manuscript. I’m a hot commodity, baby, I guess I should send that right over to them.

‘Radio stations’ are just clamoring to have me. Yes, they all want to interview me about “my book”.

Let’s not forget ‘Oprah’ herself! Oh my! She wants me for her book club!

I think my favorite, as of late, was yesterday and a ‘shy author from Ireland’ who wanted to ‘make connections’. ‘She’ first posted on my FB page after I put up a very nice 5 star review/recommendation for the audio version of The Heart of War I recently received on Book Bub. I looked at their comment and instantly thought;

Procede with caution.

Yeah.

Ok.

I’m still me and I’m still sorta trying to be nice to people and hold out the slightest hope that someone out there actually deserves the benefit of the doubt.

I’m proven wrong every single time.

Oh bother.

I went to their FB page, which you can’t really trust anymore. These people have gotten better. By that I mean, they’ve gotten all their little scammer buddies to like each other’s pages giving them a air of legitimacy…and a nifty little trick we’ll discuss in a second.

I don’t know about you but I am of the opinion that the majority of people you do not know will not just send you a DM out of the blue wanting to chat with you like they’re your closest friend. Yet, this ‘shy young Irish author’ did just that. My phone lit up and I thought; Well…here we go.

My new ‘Irish’ friend was so proud of the….200 books….they had published so far.

That seems a very popular number among scammers so be on the look out for it. I don’t know why they think having 200 books on the market is a good thing but they do. Just tuck that number in the back of your brain for future reference.

My ‘Irish’ pal seemed taken aback when I said that I didn’t publish just anything I wrote, I only publish the things I really love and want, in some way, to live on after me.

Yeah, that stymied them a bit. They stumbled but they recovered.

Of course my ‘Irish’ friend wanted to know about my marketing, what works for me, what did I try, what didn’t work for me.

Flashing Neon Red Lights Everywhere.

But, honestly, I was bored. My little ‘Irish’ friend was giving me something to do as I allowed them to think they were leading me down their Merry Path to Cash. They wanted to know what my “biggest challenge had been so far”.

So I answered with the only truthful word possible: “Life.”

I don’t know about you but, for me, that has been my biggest challenge and will continue to be my biggest challenge until the day I die.

My ‘Irish’ buddy didn’t know what to do with that. Suddenly they had to go into a “meeting”. Then they sent me their FB follow link.

Yeah. No.

I went back to watching Revival on Netflix thinking my little game was over but it was not. A short time later they began to DM me again. It was at that point I realized “meeting” meant “shift change”. There’s no way in hell I was talking to the same person when they got out of that “meeting”. Typos everywhere. At least the first ‘Irish’ author could spell.

Then they started talking about “all the author conferences” I’ve attended.

Ah. Yeah. Right. Sure.

I asked what they were talking about and they said…no joke here….they were “just kidding”.

Huh?

They wanted to know if I’d “heard of” book trailers!

No. Never. Please tell me more.

No, I didn’t say that, I said; “Been there. Done that. No thank you.”

They wanted to “at least know” about my SEO optimization. They wanted permission to view my site.

What? Ah, the link is right there on my FB page where you commented earlier and, BTW, you don’t need my “permission” to go to my website. No one does.

So I asked; “Are you blind?”

It took them a while but I finally got back…and again I shit you not….”Do you know that’s an insult!”

Ah, yeah, dippy. I’m aware.

They wanted to know why I didn’t “avail myself to the community”.

What community? They never clarified that. Then it was back to SEO. I realized they may not be talking about my website because SEO often refers to A+ content on Amazon with these people. I told them I’d just updated it that very morning…I did too…looks nice! They were welcome to look at it. On Amazon.

My ‘Irish’ author buddy really started to unravel at that point, I even told them there doing just that. I also told them I wasn’t looking for any assistance. I got back: “Do I look like someone who’s trying to offer assistance?”

You look like a wolf in sheep’s clothing, my ‘Irish’ friend. You’re not trying to offer “assistance” you’re right about that. You’re trying to put your hand in my pocket and getting it slapped for your efforts.

They quickly began to realize they were the ones caught in the snare. They’d wasted their time. I had fun. They weren’t getting any money let alone the log-in information I think they were really after. For the love of all the Gods, don’t ever give that information to anyone.

In the end, I just told them to “have a lovely rest of your life” and that was it for our little conversation.

I looked at my stats.

Nigeria.
Nigeria.
Nigeria.
Nigeria.

It’s always friggin’ Nigeria. Almost always….90%, how’s that? Sometimes its China or Pakistan. But most….that good old Nigerian Prince just never gives up.

Before anyone starts bitchin’ that’s some type of ‘coincidence’ I’d like to take this time to advise you that during the entire DM session my ‘Irish’ author friend never once used an Irish phrase, saying, word, spelling, not even the cadence was right.

There’s a guy, an author, in one of the FB groups who wrote a book about Meeting the Nigerian Prince. I love him so much for writing that book. Some people called him ‘racist’ but he’s not. He too can check his site stats:

Nigeria.
Nigeria.
Nigeria.
Nigeria.

I suggest, if you’re not doing it already, you pay better attention to your stats too.

Only accept the DM request from the kindly looking stranger if you’re in the mood to play. If not, just block them.

And lastly, always, always, always….check the full email address, especially when ‘Oprah’ wants YOU for her book club.